Traveling. That word won't stop echoing in my head. Discover. Meet. Explore. Experience. Risk. Breath. Live.
That's a strange impression. I feel like I'm on a small aircraft, on my way to skydive. I'm tempted to jump, but still measuring the risks with this blend of fright and excitement. So many reasons not to jump.
After all, isn't a dream supposed to stay what it is -fictive?
One day, someone should explain me where this paradoxical fear of happiness comes from. The door opens. I jump. The Earth is stunning, from here! I forgot my fears in the plane, dazzled. Every sensation is magnified tenfold. I'm alone, in the other side of the world, gone for the solo trip that made me dream for so long. My fears transform into strengths - they are personal challenges now. Live in another language. Buy my very first car. Drive on the left. Change home every night.
And the solitude.
A myth that makes me smile. I feel less alone in this unknown country where everything is new for me, where I'm a total outsider, than drowned into Paris' crowds. Every people I meet is an opportunity. Every place I explore is exciting. Nothing is trivial. I want to see the world! To share. Learn. Try. Fail -if needed. Everything finally makes sense. A fragrance. A color. A light. A sound. A smile.
Reconnecting. With ourselves. With our childhood ambitions. Being ourselves.
Alone in a foreign country, there's no one expecting something from you. Nobody judges you. There is no prejudice. Neither restraints. The absolute freedom. I drove thousands miles, crossing sublime roads according to my and only my desires. My music. My Eagles-karaoke in the car. My peanut-butter cookies without culpability. My nap on the beach. My photos. PEACE. Imagine days and days without any sort of stress. No anxiety. Not a word louder than the other.
Solo travel makes you relativize -there is no one to scream at when you get lost. It's your fault and only yours, and good point: there's no one to scream at you either. It's an inner journey. A state of meditation. You take the time to observe, absorb, reflect and analyze. It's an escape to discover the world. And above all, to rediscover yourself.
I think back to these past years in that aircraft, observing the world discreetly, flying overhead, watching the world moving -waiting for someone to push me out of the plane. Stop waiting. If you know you'll enjoy the flight, why would you wait to jump?